Often you hear people say that suicide is never the answer – that there are always other ways out, that no problem is so huge that it can’t be talked out, that solutions are available. I’ve had periods of black depression, but what I call black depression is some people’s brightest day. And otherwise it hasn’t come that close to me – friends and colleagues of people I know, primarily. That’s not entirely true: My first wife’s father committed suicide a couple of months before she was born. This had many effects on her life and on our relationship. 

For some, death is the only logical move forward. Oliver Sacks wrote recently for the New Yorker about writer and actor Spalding Gray’s last couple of years. Being in Gray’s head must have been harrowing, and having read Sacks’ account, I don’t at all begrudge Gray that release. (In short, an auto accident left him with some brain damage that severely affected his ability to write and concentrate.) Is Gray’s case extreme? No way to tell. Every such death is different. 

Knowing of Ian Curtis’ epilepsy makes his suicide a little easier to understand, but I can also guess that a 60s/70s upbringing in working-class Manchester didn’t offer a person much respect for that kind of inner torment. (Curtis was the main writer and lead singer of Joy Division. in 1980, he committed suicide on the eve of the band’s first US tour.)
I just offer two possible examples. 

Most Western societies, it seems, condemn and stigmatise suicide in a number of ways – the term ‘cowardly’ comes up a lot. On the other hand, communities in general don’t seem to offer a lot of support. 

I hate the place I have to go to to write about this, so I’m not going to write much more, but I just want to say that if you have suicidal thoughts because of a relationship, or money issues, or because many of the facts of existence just weigh on you, or any other reason, please find some people to talk to. There is help, even if it seems too far away or too little or too late. Please try again. There’s more hope than you may think. 

UK: http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you 

US: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 

Netherlands: https://www.113online.nl/113online-english-version

AEN_BRThere’s so much to write about David Cameron and the Duggars, and nasty trade deals, not to mention the 18-month countdown to the next US presidential election. But instead I’ve been rereading science fiction and am working up an essay on the theme of replication as addressed in Neuromancer, Blade Runner (William S. Burroughs’ P.K. Dick’s, and Ridley Scott’s) , Naked Lunch, The Matrix, and Andre Breton’s Nadja.

I hope I won’t be too long with it, though I’ve just found that Alan Nourse’s The Blade Runner (Burroughs’ source for his text Blade Runner: A Movie) is available for kindle. And now waiting on my iPad. To be fair, I’m less likely to reference that, because aside from the title, there’s no resemblance to Scott’s and P.K. Dick’s work. We’ll see.

(Title nicked from a 70s-era compilation of Beatles covers.)

Last year the band Einsturzende Neubauten released Lament, an album commemorating the 100th anniversary of World War I. In interviews, frontman Blixa Bargeld advanced the argument that the first world war never actually ended – the parties that marched across Belgium and France in 1914 continued to battle in other forms in other locations. All the results of the Sykes-Picot Agreement could be said to be further battles in that war. (My favourite track on that album is The Willy-Nicky Telegrams, in which Bargeld and Alexander Hacke recite the texts of communiques between Kaiser Wilhelm and Tsar Nicholas that led up to the war. The two were cousins.)

Side note: This week marks the 100th anniversary of the first recorded chemical weapon attack on soldiers in Ypres and seems a good place to share the Green Fields of France.

Disclosure: I am neither a political scientist nor an historian.

That said, I have recently stated to whomever will listen; and possibly here, that I’ll be quite surprised if we get out of this decade without a world war. I think now that it’s too late for that if. I’m pretty certain it’s already begun; we just haven’t declared it yet. Peace has been on life support since we took down the World Trade Centre and I think it’s time, as they say on the hospital dramas, to call it.

KMFDM: World War III

On Rachel Maddow’s 20 April 2015 show, she discussed a variety of the conflicts in the middle east including Yemen and Libya. Iran is currently supporting Yemen against the Saudi forces there. (Note: The BBC now reportbattleships that the Saudis have concluded their air campaign in Yemen.) On that front, the US supported Saudi. In the fight against ISIL, a Sunni force, the US supports Shiite Iran.

ETA: NYT now reports that Saudi air strikes in Yemen have resumed.

Moving east, we have the smoldering war in Ukraine. Between that (admittedly large) country and the very hot war in Syria, there’s only Turkey, another front in ISIL’s advance.

In addition, recent reports of Russian ships cruising near Britain add credence to arguments that Putin’s hostility isn’t limited to former Soviet republics.

And trade wars – the sanctions against Russia over its recent hostile actions may be yet be enough to push us all into a much hotter war.

I’m not without hope in these matters, but the decisions lie with very wealthy corporations that don’t look kindly on efforts to slow the continued accumulation of wealth. This is why we defend oil fields to the death, but care little for those who try to live their lives farther from those natural resources or who fight the conglomerates whose extraction efforts also make such places unliveable.

I don’t have numbers but the worldwide refugee crisis is only getting worse. Syria is one hotspot. (Israel could have taken the moral high ground at the start of the civil war, but unsurprisingly, Bibi didn’t.) Libya currently has the headlines because of the horrific tragedies occurring almost daily in the waters between Libya and Italy. These aren’t new, but Berlusconi had an agreement with the Gaddafi regime to keep a lid on those trying to escape. With Gaddafi dead (and Libya on the verge of being a failed state) and Berlusconi no longer Italy’s autocrat, it’s no longer in force.

The blog entry I couldn’t recall yesterday on why the word feminist shouldn’t exist is here: https://ronniehurd.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/the-word-feminist-shouldnt-exist-heres-why/

He concludes:

I’m not saying to cut ‘feminist’ out of our lives cold-turkey, nor do I have any disdain for whypeople that use it to describe themselves. However, I do believe that by using ‘feminist’ to describe yourself, you’re feeding the idea that feminists should have to defend their position, when in reality it needs no defense. It implies that at some point you began to form feministic views in the same way you began to lean Democrat or Republican. One day, children will be embarrassed to have misogynistic and anti-gay relatives the same way we’re embarrassed to have racist ones now. Leave the long list of titles for the barbarians, the rest of us are just…people.

My friend Hope posted the following response to an anti-feminist rant singer Johnette Napolitano gave at a recent gig (copied in full with permission):

And what a shame that I was so terribly distracted by your little speech on feminism, and why you’re not a feminist.

I gather it started out on Twitter, and someone, whose opinion you discounted based on their age, called you out for eschewing the label “feminist,” while still espousing feminist ideals.

I’m 44. Maybe you’ll deem my opinion valid?

You said you weren’t a “feminist” but rather a “humanist,” and that you didn’t like “the woman box” — “woman musician,” “female singer,” “lady guitarist.”

You know why we need feminism? Because of “the woman box,” for starters. There are two kinds of musicians: “musicians,” and “female musicians.” Guess which one is the default setting? I’ll give you a hint: It doesn’t have ovaries.*

It’s like the brouhaha over “Black Lives Matter” versus “All Lives Matter.” Do all lives matter? Of course. But no one is saying that white lives don’t matter.

Feminism is about leveling the playing field and giving women equal opportunities as men. Are you seriously saying you’re opposed to that?

*Generalizing, of course. There are plenty of transmen, intersex men, XXY men, and other men who have or have had ovaries.

That nails it quite well, sadly. Another blogger, Amy Steele, called Napolitano on this as well.

Politics? Again?
I haven’t written on politics in a while. A couple of months ago I was working up something on feminism based on another entry I’d read on the subject of feminism. A male blogger whose name and article I don’t have to hand suggested that feminism is a strange word because supporting the rights of all to equal treatment under the law should be the default position. My aunt Karen, a professor of law and long-time writer on matters of gender, argues that there are three related terms: feminism, as above; antifeminism, the position that women are somehow less than men and should occupy only limited space in family, law, and discourse; and pre-feminism, the position of those who don’t yet recognise that women are disadvantaged by dint of gender in more ways than we know how to count and with one or two eye-opening experiences will move to the other side. She discussed a male student of hers (possibly in a family law course) married to a female naval officer – not a man likely to overlook or be daunted by a capable woman. I don’t recall precisely what Karen said her lecture covered, but the man was compelled to change his views on not only the issues faced by his wife but of all women struggling for acknowledgement in the working world. (My conversation with Karen was almost two months ago and I was certain I had notes on the matter, but I have lost them.) 

 I was alerted by a facebook link to http://tableflip.club/. This page contains a manifesto of sorts for women leaving the tech industry. I would direct you to read it – it runs about 500 words.

On a certain level I’m fascinated (and horrified) by the treatment women receive in the tech industry. The main thing that surprises me about Tableflip is that it hasn’t happened sooner. I’m pretty sure Ellen Pao’s recent court case has a lot to do with it, but that might only be because the verdict seemed so egregiously wrong, and it was so well-publicised. 

The writers also explicitly push back at the whole Lean In concept. When that book came out, I heard a couple of interviews with its author, Sheryl Sandberg. While astoundingly accomplished and obviously brilliant (Harvard, McKinsey, Google, FB, etc.), she seems generally unaware of how hard most people have to work to get even a tenth as far as she has. So I’m not too surprised that equally brilliant women who haven’t had quite Sandberg’s career path are keen to do something about it. 

 I’ve been in tech for about 15 years now – I started in customer support for a hot cable broadband firm that tanked in the year I worked there (coincidence is not causation). I was then mentored into technical documentation by a fantastic and fantastically capable woman. I did mostly contract work for a couple of years before I moved to Europe. In Prague I spent a few years at Systinet (now a subsidiary of HP), surrounded by about a hundred mostly young, mostly male developers out of CVUT (the Czech technical university). I recall three women: reception, HR, and a brilliant, intuitive Slovak woman named Bea. The company was ecstatic to have her – at one point she left to spend a period in Australia with no plan to return. When she returned to Prague about a year later, she didn’t have to ask twice. They may have asked her which team she wanted to work with. Alas she died of a very swift illness several years ago. Never got to see how far her brain would take her.

I don’t think Systinet mistreated its one female developer, but they didn’t work too hard to recruit more. 

I moved from there to Sun Microsystems (now a subsidiary of Oracle). I had a large number of female colleagues there – I think Sun nurtured its female staff, but most of the politics went on in California. I knew people who’d been with Sun for 10, 15, 20 years, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t subverted in their quests for advancement and equality. Just that I didn’t see it directly. The dozen or so mostly white males at the top of the company probably say enough about female advancement there, however. 

 In Nederland, I’ve worked primarily for two relatively old firms in which the same story plays out – very few female developers and no women above a certain level on the food chain. A couple of product owners, a few developers. My current company is a 30-year old producer of enterprise resource software. I’m pretty sure the highest woman there is a bold brash Afrikaner who holds a bespoke position between the product owners and the management team. I’m not sure whether the scenario plays out the same way here as it does in the Silicon Valley of the tableflip folks, but I have my suspicions. 

 The Tableflip manifesto gives a major hat tip to a blogger (new to me, but this isn’t surprising) named Amelia Greenhall who is fierce and articulate in her articles about how women are treated in the boardroom and the media and in her advocacy of how women can advance in the world on their own (not leaning in) terms. I’m now busily flipping through her blog and wishing I could follow every link. One of several neat things her writing provides is insight into the tech world from both developer and human standpoints. A long entry on twitter DM etiquette doesn’t just say, ‘don’t be a creep,’ but tells why DMs from new male followers creep out female twitter users. And next to that, she’ll post about how to get ahead (fairly!) in publishing and pop in some satire as well. (It took me a couple reads to get her piece on Uber investor Jason Calicanis.)

I’m sure the links from Ms Greenhall’s entries can keep me busy for an awfully long time, but the timesink involved will be a good diversion from the trio of Kos, AmericaBlog, and Crooks & Liars which generally keep me distracted. 

 And here’s to learning more, including
10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn
by Soraya L. Chemaly which also requires dissemination. I’d like to believe I’m slightly more aware of the male things I do that Chernaly finds so bloody frustrating, but I’m still far from excising them.