Archives for posts with tag: life

The wreath of shining laurel lie
upon your shaggy head
bestowing power to play the lyre
to legions of the dead (From Hunter’s Elegy for Jerry Garcia)

The Grateful Dead had two main lyricists – John Perry Barlow (who passed away last year) mostly composed with Bob Weir. Robert Hunter who passed away yesterday at the age of 78 mostly composed with Jerry Garcia (1942-1995). The Days Between is one of the last few songs Hunter and Garcia wrote and was only performed (though quite regularly) in the last two years of Garcia’s life. It’s one of those dancing about architecture songs – I could talk about it or you could just listen…

Robert Hunter wrote straight up poetry as well as lyrics for the Dead (and others) and the words are worth an investment on their own…

There were days
and there were days
and there were days between
Summer flies and August dies
the world grows dark and mean
Comes the shimmer of the moon
on black infested trees
the singing man is at his song
the holy on their knees
the reckless are out wrecking
the timid plead their pleas
No one knows much more of this
than anyone can see anyone can see
There were days
and there were days
and there were days besides
when phantom ships with phantom sails
set to sea on phantom tides
Comes the lightning of the sun
on bright unfocused eyes
the blue of yet another day
a springtime wet with sighs
a hopeful candle lingers
in the land of lullabies
where headless horsemen vanish
with wild and lonely cries lonely cries

There were days
and there were days
and there were days I know
when all we ever wanted
was to learn and love and grow
Once we grew into our shoes
we told them where to go
walked halfway around the world
on promise of the glow
stood upon a mountain top
walked barefoot in the snow
gave the best we had to give
how much we’ll never know we’ll never know

There were days
and there were days
and there were days between
polished like a golden bowl
the finest ever seen
Hearts of Summer held in trust
still tender, young and green
left on shelves collecting dust
not knowing what they mean
valentines of flesh and blood
as soft as velveteen
hoping love would not forsake
the days that lie between lie between

Often you hear people say that suicide is never the answer – that there are always other ways out, that no problem is so huge that it can’t be talked out, that solutions are available. I’ve had periods of black depression, but what I call black depression is some people’s brightest day. And otherwise it hasn’t come that close to me – friends and colleagues of people I know, primarily. That’s not entirely true: My first wife’s father committed suicide a couple of months before she was born. This had many effects on her life and on our relationship. 

For some, death is the only logical move forward. Oliver Sacks wrote recently for the New Yorker about writer and actor Spalding Gray’s last couple of years. Being in Gray’s head must have been harrowing, and having read Sacks’ account, I don’t at all begrudge Gray that release. (In short, an auto accident left him with some brain damage that severely affected his ability to write and concentrate.) Is Gray’s case extreme? No way to tell. Every such death is different. 

Knowing of Ian Curtis’ epilepsy makes his suicide a little easier to understand, but I can also guess that a 60s/70s upbringing in working-class Manchester didn’t offer a person much respect for that kind of inner torment. (Curtis was the main writer and lead singer of Joy Division. in 1980, he committed suicide on the eve of the band’s first US tour.)
I just offer two possible examples. 

Most Western societies, it seems, condemn and stigmatise suicide in a number of ways – the term ‘cowardly’ comes up a lot. On the other hand, communities in general don’t seem to offer a lot of support. 

I hate the place I have to go to to write about this, so I’m not going to write much more, but I just want to say that if you have suicidal thoughts because of a relationship, or money issues, or because many of the facts of existence just weigh on you, or any other reason, please find some people to talk to. There is help, even if it seems too far away or too little or too late. Please try again. There’s more hope than you may think. 

UK: http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you 

US: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 

Netherlands: https://www.113online.nl/113online-english-version