Often you hear people say that suicide is never the answer – that there are always other ways out, that no problem is so huge that it can’t be talked out, that solutions are available. I’ve had periods of black depression, but what I call black depression is some people’s brightest day. And otherwise it hasn’t come that close to me – friends and colleagues of people I know, primarily. That’s not entirely true: My first wife’s father committed suicide a couple of months before she was born. This had many effects on her life and on our relationship. 

For some, death is the only logical move forward. Oliver Sacks wrote recently for the New Yorker about writer and actor Spalding Gray’s last couple of years. Being in Gray’s head must have been harrowing, and having read Sacks’ account, I don’t at all begrudge Gray that release. (In short, an auto accident left him with some brain damage that severely affected his ability to write and concentrate.) Is Gray’s case extreme? No way to tell. Every such death is different. 

Knowing of Ian Curtis’ epilepsy makes his suicide a little easier to understand, but I can also guess that a 60s/70s upbringing in working-class Manchester didn’t offer a person much respect for that kind of inner torment. (Curtis was the main writer and lead singer of Joy Division. in 1980, he committed suicide on the eve of the band’s first US tour.)
I just offer two possible examples. 

Most Western societies, it seems, condemn and stigmatise suicide in a number of ways – the term ‘cowardly’ comes up a lot. On the other hand, communities in general don’t seem to offer a lot of support. 

I hate the place I have to go to to write about this, so I’m not going to write much more, but I just want to say that if you have suicidal thoughts because of a relationship, or money issues, or because many of the facts of existence just weigh on you, or any other reason, please find some people to talk to. There is help, even if it seems too far away or too little or too late. Please try again. There’s more hope than you may think. 

UK: http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you 

US: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 

Netherlands: https://www.113online.nl/113online-english-version